Dating Journal Question #4

Check out this post for background on this exercise and Question #3 to get caught up.

Question #4

Step 1. List all the characteristic of your ideal partner (without mentioning looks). Do at least 20 things (even if they seem silly and small).

Example list:

1. Kind
2. Respectful
3. Self-confident
4. Supportive
5. Generous
6. Loyal
7. Doesn’t play games
8. Clear about his/her feelings
9. Communicative
10. Committed
11. Loves me unconditionally
12. …

Step 2. Go back over your list…how many of the characteristics listed do you possess? Are you kind? Are you clear about your feelings? Do you play games? Do you love yourself unconditionally?

If you are not clear about your feelings, how can you expect a partner that is clear? Why does the other person need to do all the work? Why do they have to be clear about their feelings but then you do not have to reciprocate? Why do they have to make themselves vulnerable if you are not going to be clear about your feelings? That seems a little unfair, selfish, and cowardly.

So if you really want a partner with the characteristics you’ve listed, the following question is, how do I go about adopting these characteristics myself? And eventually you can pull in a partner like your list.