Unequal Exchange
There are a few reasons for this and today we will be discussing a major one. This is something that comes up a lot with nurturers, empaths, those sensitive to energy, and those with co-dependent tendencies.
If we don’t know how to set boundaries, we are likely living in an unequal exchange of energy, whether this is being asked of us or not. This occurs when we are giving more energy than we are receiving. We can think of our vital energy, our life force, as a cup full of water. When we give without receiving (from ourselves or from others), we are pouring from our cup without filling it back in. This is unsustainable. Pretty soon our cup is completely drained into other things or people and we are left running on empty.
While we may feel we are obligated to do this, it is actually a betrayal of self to give in this unsustainable way. We deserve to be whole and unified beings regardless of how we may feel needed by others and regardless of our interactions with others. The beautiful thing is, when our cup is constantly being refilled, offering energy or assistance to others does not feel like an obligation anymore. This can even be enjoyed precisely because we are so full we have extra to give. The quality of what we can give is higher too because the intention of our giving comes from a positive place (rather than out of obligation).
When we are drained and giving from our scarce reserves of energy, we feel like we don’t want to share or that sharing our energy is a burden because it literally is. When we don’t have much in our cup, giving even a little bit feels like a lot. This puts us into a scarcity mindset and this perspective will likely bleed into other aspects of our lives.
That said, we cannot expect others to be the source of refilling our cup. If we are exchanging energy with someone and we know they will not give back to us but we continue with the interaction, we cannot be mad at the other person. In this case, we betrayed ourselves. To blame the other person would be to identify ourselves as a victim. The reality is we chose to put ourselves into this situation. We cannot control another’s behavior or choices but we can control our own. If we expect others to be the source of our receiving, we still are not taking responsibility for ourselves and we are leaving ourselves vulnerable to disappointment in a disempowering dynamic.
Because we cannot outsource filling ourselves up, we can choose to engage in nourishing ourselves. This is not bath bombs and spa days (it can be) but I personally am bored of the designer spirituality “self-care” concepts so for a deeper understanding, let’s think of things that nourish us as things that honor ourselves. This may seem like a foreign concept to some but what I mean is: how do you nourish your entire being without limiting yourself for others? For example, setting boundaries honors us but we usually shy away from them protect and manage other people, not ourselves. Radical self-responsibility is also empowering, liberating, and self-unifying but it can be difficult in the beginning.
Let’s say you are not ready to commit to this practices, perhaps there is a personal nourishing activity you can engage in that fills you up. Maybe a hobby you dream of learning or a message you want to share or an activity you enjoy but for some reason don’t allow yourself to do. Engaging in these personal activities honor who we truly are and therefore are nourishing and fulfilling. This personal practice of self-honor fills our cup and enables us to have better relationships with others.
Meditating and inner work are tools to build up the “muscle” of self-honoring practices as well as being fulfilling and nourishing activities.
If you are feeling drained, I have a great resource to help you collect your energy back up and help you to reclaim your energy today! I’m excited to share this guided meditation journey because with the right tools and awareness, anyone can start on the road to living in intuitive wellness today.
Click the button below to diminish the drained feeling and reclaim your energy today!
Check back for Part 2 of this Drained Series to discover the second reason you could be feeling unusually drained!
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